Fighting My Inner Demons - Day 1

It's really hard to know where to start with this one, I know what I want to say but the words won't come. 

For as long as I can remember and I can see a pattern for sure, I have dealt with stress and issues with alcohol. It is not something I like about myself and it is not something my kids like about me. I also know I can't stop at 1 beer, I drink them all. I need to stop and break this pattern. I have always had HUGE self esteem and self confidence issues and also need to address this. 

A couple of years ago I started using Calorie King Australia and managed to stop drinking and lose some weight in about 8 weeks. I then went on a holiday to Queensland and all the good work went out the window. Now I find myself at 105kg and drinking too much again (a 6pack of beer at least every 1 - 2 nights), It is making me miserable and tired all the time and I know that is probably where my "get up and go has gone". 

So instead of writing a huge post I will leave it at that and list my goals to a new and healthier me:

1. Restart on Calorie King Australia ( I know it work but have to stick with it). If you are a member of Calorie King Australia this is a link to my food diary which will help to keep me accountable. Sarah's Food Diary
2. Stop the Beer (easier said than done but I will do it) 
3. I WILL start exercising again using my heart rate monitor, I just brought some new rechargable batteries for the WiiFit board. 

I think that is enough goals for today. 

I have a big bottle of Mimi's iced tea concentrate found in the simple savings newsletter here,  which I really like and I have that with some ice and soda water, sometimes a handful of frozen berries, This helps a bit with the alcohol, sometimes I think I am just dehydrated and take that as wanting a beer, I will make a drink of this instead from now on. Not sure the best way too add it in my food diary though. 

I am also going to start listening to my (weird I know) hypnosis and subliminal message mp3's on my iPod again. I think these were really helping. 

I am sure there is more I should write but just can't really think of it right now. I also just remembered I need a new battery for my food scales so will "guesstimate" my food on calorie king until I get to town and get a new one. 

xoxox Sarah